I like reading Mark Mallet’s blog. The wisdom in his words is unmistakable. His thoughts are profound and they make you think and reflect. They sink into your psyche and one cannot deny his deep spiritual connection. This particular verse struck a chord within me. It provided a reason, the answer to the ‘Why’ that has plagued me for such a long time.
You see, I am convinced of the need to setting a time aside every day to commune with the Lord. To seek Him in prayer, to talk to Him, to tell Him of my day, my thoughts, my desires, my wishes, my dreams and yes… to listen to Him as He tells me things, or provide an answer to my many questions. I long for a snippet, a word, 2 words, maybe 3 and more. I want to hear from my God.
So, having read all the things I’m supposed to do; select a specific time, preferably the same time of day, in a silent place and focus my mind and heart on communion with the Lord. To pray, praise and worship Him, read His Word and listen to the still inner voice. Determined to follow through on my convictions, I did just that and proceeded to devote that hour in the morning to dialogue with my Creator.
It all sounds fine and cool. I’ve done this with some success. But, ah yes, the big ‘but’ in all this, I find I’m not consistent with this intent of mine. Because all mornings are not the same, and early morning appointments on some days interfere with my prayer time agenda. However hard I try, once I’ve missed my morning date with prayer I just can’t find an alternative time. The desire is there. But the distractions are even greater. There’s always something else to do and perhaps I’m not just trying hard enough. And every day thereafter, I am regretful and ask pardon from the Lord for my lack of attention. It happens often enough that I am quite frustrated with myself. I know I must do these things, I want to do these things and yet I’m unable to explain my inaction. Sorry just doesn’t cut it anymore. I mean, if my kid repeatedly didn’t do things I asked her to do and kept saying sorry time and again, I know I would want to teach her a lesson in commitment! And here am I, ignoring my own inclinations again and again and blithely saying sorry umpteen times……I sound like a teenager. Lord have mercy on me!
When I read this verse in Mark’s blog,
“you need endurance to do the will of God and receive what He has promised… We are not among those who draw back and perish, but among those who have faith and will possess life.” Hebrews 10:36, 39
my mind had an instant, ‘voila’ moment. That’s it, ENDURANCE! It was my buzz word for the day. I did not have the endurance to persist with my intentions. A simple word with a big meaning. A quick check of Thesaurus gave me; stamina, fortitude, resolution, durability, strength, survival, patience, staying power, persistence, perseverance, tenacity, continuance, survival. All these are good. But I want to add one more comment… to prevail.
So now, I’m going to pray for endurance 🙂 to continue to keep my rendezvous with the Lord God of Hosts. Not because I have to, but because I genuinely want to!